


Dark Spaces

by Readtome



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-20
Updated: 2020-03-20
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:21:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23230063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Readtome/pseuds/Readtome
Summary: Bucky comforts you after a mission went bad, something you'd done for him plenty of times.  He pulls you out of the darkness and confesses his feelings, leading to something more.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader
Comments: 4
Kudos: 148





	Dark Spaces

**Author's Note:**

> I wasn't expecting this to be as long as it was but I loved writing a soft Bucky, super sweet and nervous about his first time after being brought back from being the Soldier. 
> 
> Thanks for reading and please let me know what you think. It's so helpful to hear what you like and/or don't like and it totally makes my day. :)

Bucky was on his way to the kitchen in search of a glass of water. A nightmare woke him up and he found that getting out of bed for just a couple of minutes helped break his brain out of the cycle. Not that he would be getting back to sleep any time soon but it was better than lying there staring at the ceiling. 

He froze in the middle of the hallway when he heard a noise coming from your room. His eyebrows scrunched up, confused. He was pretty sure you were supposed to be out on a mission with Nat and Clint so he quietly tiptoed to your door and listened.

He heard something again, a distant sniffling from inside. He couldn’t stop listening, trying to figure out if he was somehow hallucinating or still dreaming. He knew it was an invasion of privacy but he was worried so he placed his ear on the door and held his breath. 

He knew instantly you were in your shower, hearing the rain-like sounds that couldn’t cover the sobs wracking your body. 

Bucky tested the door, finding it locked. He sighed, unsure. He couldn’t just leave you in there alone. You must have returned from your mission and he had no idea what happened. Were you hurt? Did the mission go wrong? 

You were his best friend on the team, minus Steve of course, and it tore him up inside to hear you in so much pain. Though he wouldn’t tell anyone, you held his heart in the palm of your hand without even knowing it. 

“Friday, open please.” Bucky murmured quietly. He wasn’t sure the AI would allow him entrance but he heard the lock click open. 

When he entered, your bathroom door was open and the steam from the shower was rolling out of the room like a heavy fog. The only light was from a dim bedside lamp, even the bathroom light was off. His eyes followed the trail of your discarded tac suit and undergarments leading into the bathroom. 

“Honey?” Bucky called softly, knocking lightly on the opened bathroom door so he didn’t startle you. He didn’t walk in the room, waiting to hear from you so he didn’t invade your privacy or startle you too much.

Your crying and sniffling never changed so he assumed you hadn’t heard him. He took a deep breath and peeked into the room but was unable to see anything with the glass shower wall completely fogged over. 

Bucky called out your name, still keeping his voice soft but hoping it would carry better now that the door wasn’t in the way, though he still knocked on it as well so you knew he was near. 

“B—Bucky?” You sniffled and he would swear in that moment that his heart stopped at hearing the pain in your voice. You sounded lost, like you didn’t know what to do with yourself. 

“Yeah, it’s me. Honey, I’m coming in unless you tell me not to.” He told you softly, gently. It took all his strength to go slow in case you decided you didn’t want him there. 

Bucky stood next to the shower wall, back against the glass, and reached his hand around the corner towards you, “Are you—fuck, I know you’re not okay but are you hurt?” He didn’t know how to ask but needing to know more than anything if you were injured. 

“I’m—no.” Your voice was so quiet and muffled and now that he was so close he realized you were sitting on the floor. 

Bucky’s worry about propriety and decency flew out the window, needing to get to you immediately when he knew you were curled up on the floor of the shower, lights off, hot water the only thing to comfort you. 

He quickly pulled his t-shirt off and stepped out of his socks and sweatpants, leaving him in his boxer briefs as he entered the shower. Because it was so dark and shadowed inside, all he saw was you curled up, arms hugging your legs to your chest, head resting on your knees with the water pounding down on your back. 

Bucky sat on the floor, sliding himself along the shower with his back against the side wall next to you until his leg was pushed up against the front of your shin, surprised at the temperature of your skin burning against his. 

“Honey?” He couldn’t help but use the nickname you used with him when he was having a rough night and needed comfort. It felt right, soft and gentle, less harsh than a name when you wanted nothing more than to forget yourself. 

The sob that overtook you startled him, feeling it shake your body roughly. He gave up trying to be gentle and distant. He reached over and tugged you to him, setting you on his lap and wrapping his arms around you, encompassing you completely. 

He was surprised by how pliant you were, never once fighting him. He slid so he was closer to where you had been sitting, making sure the water was still hitting you both as he just held you. 

You stayed wrapped around yourself, but leaned into his chest, your head resting on his shoulder, nose nuzzled into his neck as you cried, unable to stop. Bucky squeezed you as tight as he could, running his fingers along your back and thigh, anything to soothe and comfort you. 

He had never seen you like this and it scared him. Sure, you had bad missions, missions where anything that could go wrong did go wrong but this was something else. It reminded him of his worst days, the days when he couldn’t even get out of bed and you would just climb into it with him and run your fingers through his hair and talk to him. 

“Is there something I can do to help?” He asked, feeling lost and hating that he didn’t know what to do. 

“This—this i—is good.” You hiccuped between your words, the sobbing taking your breath away as you tried to bury yourself deeper into his embrace. 

Bucky nodded and squeezed tighter, placing a kiss on your temple, letting you know he wasn’t going anywhere. 

He had no idea how long you sat there, tangled together, but the water was lukewarm when he realized your crying had died down and you felt less tense, leaning further into him. 

He looked up in the shower, finding the shampoo within arm’s reach. He slowly unwrapped his arms from you and gently pulled your hair out of the ponytail it was barely being held in. He was prepared for you to stop him but you didn’t move, too weak and spent to argue. 

He grabbed the shampoo bottle and squeezed some into his hand, being careful not to jostle you around too much so you stayed put on his lap and against his chest. His hands lathered the shampoo and carefully ran his fingers through your hair and massaged your scalp. He smiled when he heard a soft hum leave your lips. 

“Can you tip your head back for me?” Bucky asked gently after he was finished. You did so, making it easy for him to rinse the soap out without getting it in your eyes. 

Bucky hadn’t noticed that the water cooled down even more until he felt you start to tremble against his chest. He stretched his arm out and could just barely reach the knob so he wrapped his other arm around to secure to you him while he leaned over to turn the temperature back up. 

You tensed as you were leaned backwards so he could reach and quickly wrapped your arms around his neck to hold on.

“It’s okay, I got you.” Bucky quickly returned his arm to your side, squeezing you tight. 

He was glad it was dark to cover the blush that crept across his cheeks when he felt your chests pressed together now that your arms weren’t wrapped around your knees. The fact that you were naked got lost in his worry for you but that brought it back to the forefront of his mind. 

“You know, if you wanted to get me in my underwear there were easier ways to do it.” Bucky teased, murmuring it quietly into your hair after placing another kiss to the side of your head. 

You snorted and Bucky’s heart swelled. He loved to make you laugh so to do it now, when you needed it most, made him happy. 

“I’m sorry. You would probably rather be in bed right now.” You said as you knew how late it had to be.

“No. I’m right where I want to be.” He said firmly as you finally brought your head up to look at him, barely able to see his features in the dim lighting, just enough to see his eyes shining back at you and a soft smile on his lips. 

“I can’t believe you got in here with me.” You felt the smile tugging at your lips as you started to come back to him, to climb your way out of the hole you were buried in.

“I’d go anywhere for you. A shower isn’t going to scare me away.” He rested his forehead against yours, giving you something to anchor yourself to in the moment. 

Your eyes closed, taking deep breaths as you reemerged into the real world slowly, trying to keep yourself from tipping back into that darkness that Bucky just helped you from. 

“Honey?” Bucky called to you, trying to get you to open your eyes again, focus on him. 

“I’m—I’m here.” You assured him, blinking away the images that were tearing you apart. 

“Can you tell me what happened?” Bucky asked softly, afraid he was going to push you away. His fingers wrapped around the back of your neck to keep your forehead pressed to his while his thumb ran back and forth across your cheekbone, hoping his touch kept your focus. It’s what worked for him, what you did for him on a regular basis, so he hoped it would help. 

“There were kids. They had them in cages smaller than people put their dogs in. But there was a little boy, beautiful little boy. He had dark hair and the prettiest blue eyes. He was shy but when he got free he started to help corralling the rest of the kids.” Bucky watched you struggle through, keeping his grip on you strong, keeping eye contact. 

“There was one little girl left and he got her to the exit but there was someone on the other side of the door. They—they grabbed her to use as a shield. He had a gun to her head.” Tears were flowing now but he wasn’t going to stop you. 

“She started crying and the boy tried to comfort her. He took her hand to calm her down and wouldn’t leave her. The man kept yelling at him to get away but he wouldn’t leave her, no matter what. He—he—he shot him and I don’t know if we got him to the hospital in time.” You broke down, sobbing again, Bucky squeezing you to his chest as tight as possible. 

“He reminded me so much of you.” If Bucky didn’t have super hearing he wouldn’t have known you said it. The air left his lungs as he struggled to breathe as he realized that’s why you were so broken over your mission. 

“Oh, honey. I’m so sorry.” He rocked you in his arms and kept his face in your hair, glad it was so dark and the shower was on so you didn’t see his tears. 

He hummed and murmured soft nonsense to you as you cried, glad you hadn’t completely retreated back into yourself as you buried yourself in his shoulder, 

The water was getting cold again so Bucky reached to change it only to find it was turned all the way up already, that you had completely depleted the hot water. 

“Hey,” He rubbed your back to get your attention, “The water’s going to keep getting colder. You ready to get out?” 

He felt you nod against his shoulder, then bring your arms forward to rub your face and eyes, like if you rubbed vigorously enough you could erase the scenes from your mind. You sighed, the weight of the adrenaline crash catching up with you, feeling heavy and weak and spent. 

Bucky knew you so well, could read you like a book, so to hear that sigh was enough for him to know you were exhausted. He slid his hands to your sides and gripped your hips, lifting upward to help you stand. He pushed back on the wall behind him so he could stand up in case your legs didn’t want to hold you. 

He reached back to shut the water off, the silence that filled the bathroom now deafening with only the exhaust fan humming in the background. He helped you out of the shower, glad it was a stand-alone shower so you didn’t have to use any more energy than necessary. 

He eyed the towel hanging on the back of the door and stepped away from you, free hand still touching your arm, to grab it and wrap it around you. Your arms had been crossed over your chest, though if it was to comfort yourself or keep some sense of modesty Bucky didn’t know, but you brought your arms out from under the towel and gripped it around you. 

“There’s extras in there.” You whispered as you nodded your head to a cabinet next to him. He reached in and grabbed a towel that matched yours and quickly scrubbed it through his short hair before wrapping it around his hips. 

“C’mere.” He pulled you in again and you let yourself be surrounded by him, cheek pressed to his chest. Your arms wrapped around his waist and he smiled, glad you weren’t being as passive as you had been in the shower. 

“Thank you.” He heard you quietly mumble into his chest, your voice barely there from all the crying. He put his finger under your chin and tilted up until you were looking at him. 

“You never have to do that.” 

“Yes, I do. I didn’t realize I was that bad until the hot water hit me and everything came rushing in at once. You brought me back.” 

“You mean like you’ve done for me a million times?” He asked you. 

“It’s not the same.” You argued. 

“Why?” He was genuinely confused. 

“You are literally standing in my bathroom, soaking wet, in your underwear.” He tried not to smile too bright when he heard the quiet sarcasm and teasing tone to your voice. 

“I’ll admit I’ve never made you climb in the shower for me…” He trailed off, smiling as you buried your face into his chest again, embarrassed. 

“How did you know I was in here?” You asked, still hiding. 

“I was walking by and I heard you.” 

“Oh, God. I didn’t realize I was so loud.” 

“You weren’t but, you know, super hearing?” Bucky teased, trying to ease your mind, that no one else knew, “I was just surprised Friday let me in.” 

“I gave you clearance a long time ago.” You told him. 

“For my nightmares?” He asked and felt you nod against his chest. 

“Well, I’m glad. I don’t know what I would have done if I couldn’t have gotten to you.” 

“Me, either.” You whispered, looking up at him. He smiled and kissed your forehead. You squeaked when he swept you off your feet and carried you into your living space, sitting on the bench at the end of your bed with you in his lap. 

“I thought you said you weren’t hurt.” He narrowed his eyes at you as he saw a rough but, ultimately, superficial cut across your collarbone. 

“I’m not. It’s fine.” You waved his concern away. Bucky trailed his finger across the cut. You sucked in a breath at the sting of his calloused fingertip brushing across the sensitive cut. 

“That doesn’t sound fine.”

“But I deserve it.” You barely whispered the words as your head dropped to your chest, the guilt still floating through your brain. 

“No.” You jumped at the harshness of Bucky’s voice, anger lacing the word as he grabbed your chin and forced you to look at him. 

“How dare you say that. There isn’t a chance in hell for the rest of us if you deserved that. You are the best of all of us.” He told you before whispering, “I wish you could see you like I do.” 

“I’m sorry.” You whispered back, eyes welling up at the way he defended you when you couldn’t find it in yourself to do so. 

Bucky pulled you close, resting his forehead against yours again. 

“Honey, you have nothing to be sorry for. You taught me that we can’t always be strong for ourselves and that it’s okay. You’ve been my strength more times than you know. Now it’s my turn.” The genuine smile you gave him made his heart lighter, the first one he’d seen from you all night. 

You surprised him by throwing your arms around his shoulders, squeezing him tightly and burying your face in his neck. 

“How about you get in your pajamas and we’ll go back to my room and watch a movie.” Bucky suggested. He felt you nod against his neck and he smiled. 

“You’re not going to make me help you get dressed, too, are you?” He teased. You released your grip on him and slapped his shoulder with the back of your hand but you were unable to hide the huff of laughter. 

You slid off his lap and dug through your dresser drawers to get everything you needed before going into the bathroom. Bucky swallowed thickly when you didn’t close the door. It was too dark to see anything other than your outline but he quickly looked away. He could hear the fabric rustling as you finished drying off and getting dressed. 

“Okay.” You said quietly and caught his attention as he was looking anywhere but into the bathroom. He smiled when he saw his clothes in your hands. 

“Thought you might want these back.” You said, blushing, suddenly shy over the fact that you had just been naked with him in the shower now that you were starting to relax. The feel of the clothes in your hand that he shed in a hurry to get to you bringing the thoughts to the forefront. 

“Thanks.” He stood, making sure the towel was still tightly wrapped around his hips. You had to force yourself to keep eye contact so you wouldn’t let them wander lower. 

“You hang on to them.” He said as he walked towards you. 

“Hop on.” He turned in front of you and hunched down, letting you climb on his back. You laughed at his offering of your favorite way to wander the halls of the compound, especially at night. When he was having a bad night, it helped keep him grounded with you wrapped tightly around him and you enjoyed getting to stay close to him. 

“Ready?” He asked once you were situated and he had a good grip underneath your butt. 

“Yep.” You said, holding his clothes in one arm while holding his shoulders with the other. 

“Friday, lock please.” You murmured as you left the room and listened to it click in place. 

Bucky’s room was at the other end of the hall so he started the long trek back when a door behind you opened. Sam exited in only his boxers, half asleep but presumably headed for the kitchen. He heard you and Bucky and looked down the hall towards you, eyes wide in surprise at not just seeing someone else at the late hour but the vision of Bucky looking naked wrapped in only a towel with you riding on his back, hair still wet. 

“I’m not even going to ask.” Sam muttered as he ran his hands over his face, “But congratulations. And about damn time. Everyone’s been wondering when you two would finally get it right.” 

Bucky quickened his pace to get to his room, head down, heart pounding and he could feel yours doing the same pressed against his back, your breath hitching at Sam’s assumption. 

He set you gently down on his bed and you held his clothes to him. He gave you a tight smile of thanks before grabbing some new boxer briefs out of his dresser and going into the bathroom to change. 

You didn’t move from the edge of Bucky’s bed, unsure of what to do. After what Sam said, you weren’t sure if Bucky would want you to stay. He seemed uncomfortable at the thought Sam voiced and you suddenly thought about sneaking back to your own room but worried he would come looking for you and would have to explain yourself, would have to admit that maybe you felt something more than friendship. 

When the bathroom door opened again, you were staring at your hands clasped together in your lap. You didn’t want to meet his eyes. Bucky took your posture and demeanor as slipping back into the darkness so he rushed over and knelt in front of you. 

“Hey, you okay?” He asked, resting his palm along your cheek, immediately forgetting his own discomfort over what happened in the hallway. You nodded but still wouldn’t meet his eye. 

Bucky sighed, afraid to ask the question but struggled through anyway, “Is this about what Sam said?” You didn’t respond. He would have thought you hadn’t heard him except for the way your breathing caught in your throat when he asked. 

“Please don’t shut me out.” He whispered, voicing his biggest fear of you finding out about his feelings.

You heard desperation in his voice and it scared you. With his hand still on your cheek, you leaned your forehead on his and closed your eyes, “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to.” 

“Damn it, this is why I didn’t want you to know. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.” He huffed in frustration before pulling his hand away and resting back to give you space. 

“Want me to…know? What?” Your confusion surprised him, figuring it couldn’t be any more obvious. 

“Are you really going to make me say it?” He sounded defeated and all you could think was that he felt he needed to tell you that he wasn’t interested, that he was trying to protect your heart by not saying it out loud. 

When you didn’t respond right away and he saw your hands clenching nervously in your lap he sighed, kneeling again to be closer, “First, I need you to know that nothing has to change. Nothing. You mean the world to me, no matter what, and I promise I won’t let my feelings ruin that… ruin our friendship.” 

His hands rested near your legs on the end of his bed but didn’t touch, wanting to give you space in case you decided to you needed to leave. 

“Wait, feelings? What do you mean? How could you—why would you think wanting to be my friend would ruin us?” You were so confused, so unsure why his feelings of friendship would ruin your feelings of, well, more than friendship. 

“God, you really are going to make me say it.” Bucky said, closing his eyes and taking a deep, calming breath. You waited, biting your bottom lip, a nervous habit that Bucky was finding very distracting at the moment. 

“I love you. I’m in love with you. I have been in love with you for a long time now.” He watched the look of surprise in your eyes turn to tears and he was afraid he really did push you too far, that you were going to leave and things were going to turn awkward between you. 

“Bucky…” You paused when he ran his thumbs along your cheeks to wipe away your tears. 

“I know. I’m sorry.” He told you, hating that he made you cry. 

“No, you don’t.” You vigorously shook your head to stop him from his assumptions, “I thought it was you that just wanted to be friends.” You held back a laugh and the ridiculousness of the situation but not surprised that you’d both be oblivious of each other’s love. 

Bucky’s eyes wouldn’t meet yours, even after you stopped him. 

“Bucky?” You said his name softly as you grabbed him around the neck, fingers tangling in his short hair while you used them to make him look at you. 

“James, please look at me.” He finally met your eyes at your use of his proper name, something he’d never heard from you, “I love you, too.” 

He just stared at you, looking lost. He knew you wouldn’t mess with his emotions like that but he couldn’t seem to believe what he heard. When you didn’t get a response you smiled softly at him. 

“James, I’m in love with you.” Whatever froze him before seemed to wear off, shaking free of its hold. His hands that were resting next to you on the bed slid in and wrapped around your hips. Your legs that had been squeezed together in front of you fell open to allow him to get closer. 

He pressed his chest to yours. It was no closer than you had been at different points of the night but it felt different this time. You were even wearing more clothing than you had been earlier but saying those words made it instantly more intimate. 

His hands slid up your back, fingers underneath your t-shirt giving you goosebumps. He noticed and smiled, happy to have that effect on you. His eyes watched you biting your bottom lip, making him lick his own. One more glance down and you had stopped, lips parted as you shivered from his touch. 

“I need to know that you’re sure about this. I don’t think I’ll be able to let you go once I have you. You’re it for me.” He said honestly. 

“I’m yours.” You nodded. Bucky released a breath he didn’t realize he was holding while he waited for your confirmation. 

“God, you have no idea how long I’ve wanted to hear you say that.” He said before finally bringing his lips to yours. He was gentle at first, almost chaste, until you tightened your grip on his neck and unconsciously pulled him closer.

He hummed quietly, pleased, as he deepened the kiss. His fingers danced along your back and to your hips, squeezing you closer to his chest. The feeling of his arms holding you tight while he kissed you breathless made you feel like you were floating in the heavens. 

When his tongue tentatively brushed along the seam of your lips, the sound you made was sinful to his ears and he immediately wanted to hear it again. It had been a long time for him and he had been nervous about his first kiss since he’d been back but that noise gave him the confidence boost he needed. 

The tug on the short hair at the nape of his neck sent a jolt that went straight to his cock and he gasped into your mouth. He felt you smirk against his lips, glad you were having the same effect on him. 

“Fuck.” Bucky mumbled as your lips trailed down the side of his neck and under his ear, taking his breath away. 

“Mm, we’ll get to that.” You responded cheekily, making him huff out a laugh as he struggled to maintain his composure as you returned the path back to his lips to place one more kiss before pulling back to look at him. 

“You know it’s been a really long time since…” He trailed off, eyes not quite meeting yours as his cheeks turned pink. 

You nodded your understanding, running your fingers through his hair and setting your hands on his shoulders, “Don’t start getting shy on me now. You were just holding me naked in the shower. If anyone has a right to get embarrassed it’s me. Besides, it’s been a while for me, too. I mean, not quite as long but…” You trailed off with a shy shrug. 

“Okay. So we take it slow?” He asks. 

“Of course.” You smiled, relieved. Bucky returned your smile, biting his lip before kissing you again, softly, sweetly. 

“Okay, come on. Let’s try to get you relaxed enough to get some sleep.” Bucky brushed your hair behind your ear before standing up from the floor. He picked you up and dropped in the bed with you in his lap. 

You pulled the blankets over your bodies while he settled you between his legs, back resting on his chest behind you. He knew that even though you were doing better, it was still in the back of your mind and he wanted you as close as possible. 

“Here. You pick.” Bucky handed you the remote from his nightstand to choose something to watch. 

“Friday, lights off please.” Bucky called out as you scrolled through Netflix, leaving the television as the only light source in the room. You picked a movie, one you’d seen a thousand times, and settled back with a soft sigh. 

Bucky kissed your cheek and wrapped his arms around you tightly, making you feel safe and comfortable which is exactly what you needed. 

“How are you doing?” Bucky mumbled into your hair after you’d been watching the movie for a while, checking in. 

“Better. Thanks to you.” You told him, running your hand over his knee. 

“Good.” He smiled, kissing your cheek again, which turned into longer kisses down your jaw and the side of your neck, nipping at your skin. You released a shaky breath and felt him smirk against your skin. 

“Bucky…” You tried to warn, though it came out as more of a whine than anything. 

“Hm?” He asked, continuing his to focus under your ear and down your shoulder, as if he didn’t know what he was doing. 

“James…” You tried again, which just made him growl into your skin. 

“You gotta stop calling me that.” He buried his face in your neck when his breath caught in his throat. 

“Oh, I’m sorry, am I distracting you?” You responded sarcastically, as if it wasn’t what he’d been doing to you. 

“Mm-hmm.” He whined. 

“Poor baby.” You cooed, reaching your hand up behind you and running your fingers through his hair and you felt him nod, making you chuckle. 

You squealed in surprise when he rolled over, so you were suddenly lying next to him, nose to nose, heads resting on the pillows. 

Bucky gently ran his finger over the edge of the cut on your shoulder that was peeking out from underneath your t-shirt, frowning. 

“It looks worse than it is, I promise.” You told him. He nodded but placed the softest kiss on it before running his finger over it one more time. 

You reached behind you to find the remote and shut the TV off, neither of you paying attention to it. 

“You finally getting tired?” Bucky asked hopefully, worried you weren’t going to be able to sleep after the day you had. 

You nodded and sighed, wanting to sleep but afraid of what dreams will greet you on the other side. Bucky knew all too well of that feeling, and knew that was weighing on your mind. 

“Come here.” He opened his arms to you. You let him pull you in, happy for the comfort. He surprised you when he started running his fingers through your hair, the same thing you did for him on his bad nights. 

#

You woke to a knocking on the door, stirring you from the light sleep that you wished had been better. You froze when the bed shifted, feeling a panic at realizing you weren’t in your own room. 

“’Sokay. You’re okay.” Bucky whispered softly from behind you, setting his hand on your arm to remind you where you were, who you were with. You settled back down, eyes still closed, not willing to greet the day yet. 

Bucky climbed out of bed with a huff and cracked open the door to find Steve on the other side, dressed for their morning run. 

“Why aren’t you dressed yet? Did you sleep through your alarm again?” Steve asked, shaking his head. 

“Nah, you’re on your own this morning.” Bucky responded quietly. 

“Everything okay?” Steve asked, instantly worried for Bucky. 

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’ll kick your butt in the gym later to make up for it.” Bucky teased. 

Steve narrowed his eyes at Bucky as he couldn’t figure out what he was trying to hide, that something was off, especially when Bucky never let the door open more than necessary.

“You sure?” Steve asked. 

“Yeah, I’m sure I’ll kick your butt.” Bucky responded, brushing off his concern. Steve just shook his head again but didn’t fight him, though he was left even more confused when Bucky quickly closed the door behind him. 

You didn’t hear the conversation, didn’t even know who it was, but you were surprised when Bucky climbed back into bed with you, wrapping his arms around you and burying his face in your hair. 

“What was that?” You asked, surprised by your gravely voice, making you clear your throat. 

“Steve for our morning run.” He said. 

“You could have gone, you know.” You didn’t want him changing his schedule for you. 

“Didn’t want to. Why wouldn’t I rather do this instead?” He asked, squeezing you for emphasis. 

You both must have dozed off again because the next time you woke the light from the window had shifted so it was shining right in your eyes. You tried to roll over but Bucky’s arm had you pinned. 

“You finally awake, Sleeping Beauty?” He teased. 

You groaned and rolled over towards him when he lifted his arm. He looked wide awake and you wondered how long he just laid there to let you sleep. 

“I think that was the only decent sleep you got all night, wasn’t it?” He asked, tucking your hair behind your ear. You nodded, eyes closing as you worried you kept him from getting sleep. 

“How bad was I?” You finally asked. 

“You just felt unsettled, like you couldn’t stay asleep so you didn’t stay in one position very long.” He told you, “Nothing I couldn’t handle, though, if that’s what you’re worried about.” 

Your eyes gave away that that’s exactly what you were worried about and he huffed out a quiet laugh, “Honey, it’s fine. I would have been so worried about you that I wouldn’t have gotten any sleep if you weren’t in here with me.” 

He leaned in and kissed you before smiling, “I will never get tired of doing that.” It made you laugh and wrap your arms around his neck. 

“Oh, God.” Your eyes widened, frozen, now that you were more awake and thinking about the day ahead. 

Bucky eyed you warily, “What?” 

“Sam.” Was all you said. 

“Fuck.” 

“Yeah.” You both knew he wouldn’t keep what he saw to himself. 

“And Steve was definitely suspicious when I wasn’t ready to go on our run this morning.”

“Well, so much for having a little time before we had to say anything.” 

“Yeah, I was kind of looking forward to keeping you to myself for a while.” He teased, kissing you. You melted into him, forgetting your worries for the moment. Everyone else would still be there when you were ready to leave the comfort of his bed, just the two of you. 

“Speaking of,” Bucky had rolled you over so he was on top, “I was hoping to have you to myself tonight.” 

“Oh yeah?” You asked, shy smile meeting one of his own. He nodded but couldn’t keep the pink from tinting his cheeks. 

“I’d like that.” You nodded, pulling the front of his t-shirt so he’d lean down to kiss you again. 

“Think we should get up? You need to get to the gym and I have a couple meetings this afternoon.” You asked, though knew neither of you wanted to do anything other than what you already were. 

“Knowing I’ll have you here tonight makes it bearable.” Bucky admitted between slow kisses. 

After he pulled himself away, Bucky quickly changed into his workout clothes while you stretched in his bed, making him laugh and shake his head when he caught you biting your lip and eyeing him. 

“Fuck, that is not helping.” He groaned, closing his eyes. You laughed and it was a sound he wanted to hear for the rest of his life. 

You let him open the door, peeking down the hall to check that it was clear. When he was sure it was, you rushed down to your room to get dressed while he headed down to the gym. 

Once dressed, your first mission was to get coffee. You needed it after the night you had and was surprised that Sam was in the kitchen. 

“Coffee?” He asked. When you nodded, he gestured for you to have a seat at the island and he’d get it for you. 

“About last night…” He started and you braced yourself, wondering what he was going to say, “I’m sorry.” 

It surprised you and he noticed and continued, “I ran into Clint in the kitchen after that and he said you guys were in really bad situation. I had no idea. I’m so sorry you had to go through that.” Sam had wandered around the island to bring you the coffee and wrapped you in a hug. 

“Thanks, Sammy.” You smiled lightly, enjoying his warmth wrapping you up. 

“I’m leaving tonight for a recon mission of my own. I won’t see you for a few days so I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I know you’ve always had a way with Bucky, the way you calm him down when he’s having a bad night, so I’m glad it seems like he can do that for you, too.” 

“I’m better today. It was a rough night but, yeah, I got through it.” You nodded, “And please be careful?” You asked, the same thing you always asked of him whenever he was sent out without you. 

“Of course.” Sam smiled, kissing your forehead before heading out of the kitchen, leaving you to sip your coffee in peace. 

#

Bucky entered the gym to find Steve and Wanda working together on her forcefields, using them to block his attacks and push him back. He was surprised to find it empty other than them, but realized Nat and Clint were probably as torn up as you were the night before and just needed the rest. 

“Hi, Bucky.” Wanda waved when she saw him, smiling at him from over Steve’s shoulder, which he returned with a smile of his own. 

“Okay, I think that’s good for today. You did great. Just work on keeping your elbows loose so you don’t wear your arms out.” 

Steve didn’t say anything until Wanda left, sure they were alone in the gym. 

“So what was that really about this morning?” He asked, eyebrow raised at Bucky, waiting for the truth. 

“I couldn’t want to just sleep in?” Bucky asked as he went to a treadmill, his usual way of warming up. 

“The fact that you wouldn’t open the door more than a couple inches makes me think you weren’t alone.” 

“Is there a question in there?” Bucky asked, making Steve roll his eyes and try to ignore the sarcasm. 

“I know about the mission last night.” Steve said. 

“Then you’ll understand why I didn’t want to leave.” Bucky met Steve’s eyes for the first time, really holding his gaze. Steve nodded, glad to get to the bottom of Bucky’s strange behavior, though Bucky wasn’t sure he would be completely satisfied because he was always able to tell when someone wasn’t telling the whole truth.

“I’m glad. She probably needed you.” Steve said. Bucky couldn’t tell if that was a general statement or if he was digging for more so he didn’t respond, just nodded his agreement. 

“Was she better this morning?” Steve asked. Bucky tried not to smile, that Steve was definitely looking for more. 

“Yeah, I think so. Finally getting some sleep helped.” Bucky told him, keeping his words to a minimum. 

“Good.” Steve smiled a tight smile, frustrated he didn’t get what he wanted from the conversation and Bucky had to hold back a laugh. 

#

“Could Steve had stared at us any harder?” You asked when you dropped down on Bucky’s bed, laughing. 

The team ate dinner together, you and Bucky sitting across from each other at the big table, Steve’s gaze constantly bouncing back and forth to see if he could figure out if there was more. 

“He tried to get something out of me in the gym, too.” He told you about Steve’s digging from earlier in the day and then you told him about your conversation with Sam. 

“So I really do get you to myself, for a little while at least.” 

“Looks like.” You agreed as he joined you on the bed, laying next to you. 

You rested your chin on his chest, gazing up at him with a contended smile, happy to be back together, alone, after the long day. 

Bucky ran his fingers up and down your spine, making you hum happily and the feeling. 

“You okay?” You asked, running your finger down his cheek as he looked lost in thought. 

He nodded, biting his lip, “Just…nervous, I guess.” 

“About… tonight?” You asked, making him nod again. 

“We don’t have to. You know that, right?” You told him and he chuckled. 

“Isn’t that usually the man’s line? But no, you have no idea how much I want to. I just--what I said last night, that you were it for me, it’s true. I guess I’m just worried that I won’t make you happy, that I won’t take care of you right.” Again, his face had gone red, not used to having to talk about things like that or of giving a voice to his fears. 

“And I meant it, too, when I said I’m yours so as long as I’m with you, I’m happy. Besides, you know what they say. Practice makes perfect.” The way he laughed, the relief in it, made you happy, that you broke the tension for him. 

“God, I love you.” He said when his laughter faded, the fondness in his voice overwhelming. He rolled over to face you, much like you had been the previous night, nose to nose. He smiled at you, rubbing his nose over yours before nudging lower and pressing his lips to yours. 

You could feel the tentativeness in it, still unsure. You rested your palm over his chest and you could feel his heart pounding. Bucky distracted you immediately, his kisses becoming more insistent, needier, and deeper. His tongue slid along your bottom lip while his hand settled at your hip, tugging you towards him. 

His hand moved up from your hip, under your tank top, sliding up and down slowly. You fingers tangled in the front of his t-shirt and his knee found its way between yours, which gave him some leverage to roll you onto your back. 

He used his arms to slide down the bed, face level with the bottom of your shirt. He looked up at you, eyes dark, as he lifted the edge of your top and kissed the skin beneath. His lips were soft and warm as they slowly pressed to you, working higher and pushing your shirt with it until he reached the bottom of your bra. 

He rose to his knees over you and offered you his hand so you could sit up. He grasped the bottom of your shirt and pulled it over your head. His eyes met yours as his hands settled over the clasp of your bra. You sent him a small smile when he waited for your permission. He bent down and pressed his lips to yours as he unclasped it without difficulty. 

“Long time, huh?” You teased, raising your eyebrow at him, at the fluidity of his movement for something he hadn’t done in ages. 

Bucky laughed, having no explanation for how smooth that happened but when you let the straps slide down your arms he swallowed thickly, eyes drawn to the fabric falling away. You tossed it off the side of the bed and leaned back on your elbows. 

Bucky reached behind his neck to pull his t-shirt off, tossing it with your bra off the side of the bed. He returned to you, his chest pressing into yours until you were lying down again. He kissed you again before shifting down. He looked up at you before leaning down to pull a nipple into his mouth. 

His tongue swirled around, teeth grazing lightly before soothing it again with his tongue and pulled a gasp from you, making Bucky smirk. His hand cupped the other one, thumb sliding over and mimicking the movements of his tongue. Your head dropped back onto the pillow, breath hitching. 

Bucky kissed up your chest and neck to claim your mouth again, groaning as his chest drug across yours. You laid your palm on his cheek as his tongue explored your mouth, losing yourself in the feeling of him pressed against you. 

He pulled away so you could both catch your breath and he leaned his forehead on yours, “Okay?” He asked, checking in. You smiled and nodded. 

“Are you?” You asked in return. 

He nodded, “Very okay.” He confirmed with a smile, looking down at you as he bit on his lower lip. He rolled to the side and you felt him pressed hard against your thigh and had to hold yourself back from running your hand across it, wanting him to go at his own pace. 

His fingers worked at the button on your jeans, laughing and cursing you when he realized it had multiple buttons instead of a zipper. 

“Well I couldn’t make it too easy on you, could I?” You laughed out as he finally finished with the last button. 

“Ah-ha!” He celebrated triumphantly with a laugh and tugged them down your legs and then you kicked them off once they reached your ankles. You loved that you could laugh and have fun with him while in the moment, something that could help relax you both. 

“Excuse me, Mister.” You nudged Bucky with your knee, “This is feeling very unfair.” You plucked at the fabric of his jeans bunched up by his thigh. 

“Okay, okay,” He laughed and stood at the side of the bed, sliding his jeans down his legs and stepped out of them and his socks, “Better?” He asked, eyebrows raised. 

“Much.” You nodded, eyes traveling down his muscular thighs. You weren’t the only one seemingly enjoying the view with Bucky’s eyes traveling over every inch of you. 

He walked to the end of the bed and reached forward, tugging the edges of your panties, making you lift your hips so he could remove the last piece of clothing.

“Fuck.” He whispered, still eyeing you.

“I second that.” Your eyes were drawn to the obviously excited bulge that his boxer briefs could barely contain. You sat up and got to your knees before crawling towards him, then raised up on your knees again to come chest to chest with Bucky and wrapped your arms around his shoulders. 

He smiled at you, pulling you closer with his hands resting on your butt. You pressed a kiss to his lips, which he happily returned. You sucked in a breath when he pressed into you and you felt him against your stomach. 

“I love you.” You whispered when you separated. 

“Love you, too.” He replied, heart skipping, still not used to hearing those words from you but hoping he would get to hear it every day for the rest of his life. 

Bucky pulled his hand around your hip as his lips pressed to yours again and slipped his hand between your legs. His middle finger slid slowly through your folds and you moaned against his lips. Once he had gathered some of your wetness, he slowly circled your clit, making you gasp and arch into him. 

“I got you.” He mumbled, squeezing around your waist with his other arm to hold you in place. You buried your face in his neck as your arms squeezed him to keep yourself upright. He sped his finger up, then slowed it down, earning him a groan at not being able to predict what he was doing, which made him chuckle and search out your lips again. 

Bucky hand stopped moving and he swallowed the whine that you gave until his finger moved back and oh so slowly entered you. He groaned as he felt how tight you were, just with one finger, so he carefully added a second. Your muscles squeezed him with the second addition and he had to fight just tossing you back on the bed and having his way with you. He couldn’t help imagining how that would feel around his cock.

You were clutching at his shoulders, whimpering as he repeatedly hit the spot in you that made you see stars. You were thankful his arm was holding you when his thumb returned to make tight circles on your clit because your knees wouldn’t have been able to keep you upright. 

Bucky wasn’t sure how much longer he could listen to the noises you were making and not be buried inside you so he sped up his movements, murmuring praises in your ear, “Good girl. So good for me, baby. I got you.” 

His words were just pushing you closer and closer until you were tumbling over the edge, Bucky hissing at the feeling of you clenching around his fingers, orgasm shaking through your body as you kept your face pressed to his neck, eyes squeezed shut. 

“Fuck.” Bucky chuckled lowly after your body relaxed and you had the strength back to hold yourself up. You met his eyes and he looked ready to devour you, making your breath catch in your chest. 

His lips were on yours again and you tentatively reached down, letting your palm slide over his cock. The noise that came from deep in his throat pushed you on, sliding underneath the band to wrap your fingers around him. He was hot and heavy in your hand and you used the beads of precum at the tip to help your hand slide up and down. 

His tongue slid against yours, your hand squeezing him, slipping slowly over his length driving him crazy. His hips jerked when your thumb ran over the head again, gathering another bead of precum. 

Bucky finally removed his hands from you to slide his last piece of clothing off. You almost moaned at the view as you looked down at him in your hand. You wanted to bend down and take him in your mouth, taste him, but decided to save that for later so he could stay in control, which you both seemed to like. 

He must have noticed your distraction, that you were focused on making him feel good, so he smiled and lifted you up by the waist and laid you down on the bed. You scooted back to give him room to join you and enjoyed the view of him crawling slowly up your body, his eyes predatory. 

His weight settled over you, not too much but enough to feel his heart pounding in his chest, which you were sure matched yours. He brushed his fingers along your cheek. 

You felt him pressed between your legs and it was then you started to feel nervous, his size a little worrying. Bucky must have noticed and kissed your softly, “Let me know if you want me to stop and I will.” You nodded, small smile at how gentle and sweet he was being. 

Your knees squeezed his hips as he slowly entered you, going as slow as he could make himself in case he hurt you. He watched your face carefully, looking for any sign of discomfort but your head was back on the pillow, eyes squeezed shut as you were torn between the sting of the stretch and the pleasure of being filled. 

It felt like it took forever for him to bottom out and he held his position, waiting for you to give him a signal that everything was fine. You let out a shaky breath before opening your eyes and giving him the smallest nod. He kissed you again before sliding almost all the way out. 

He waited until you were whining and writhing beneath him before he picked up the pace, loving how he had you worked up with just a few slow but deep thrusts. Your head fell back again, giving him access to press his lips along your collarbone, tongue and teeth tasting. 

While you were distracted with the drag and pull of him inside, he surprised you by rolling over, pulling you on top of him. You smiled down at him, at what he wanted, and saw the gleam in his eye as you sat up and started rolling your hips. 

Bucky gasped and he grabbed your hips, loving the view of your head thrown back, swirling your hips and rolling up and down his length. His hands slid up your sides and cupped your breasts, thumbs circling your nipples. 

You leaned back, hands resting on his thighs behind you to give yourself more leverage and picked up your pace. Bucky groaned, looking at the space where your bodies met, sliding together perfectly. His muscular thighs flexed under your hands as you rode him, loving the look in his eyes as he watched you. He made you feel like you were the most important thing in the world, that you were his. 

As the familiar sensation started to build, you rode him faster, harder, and he brought his thumb over to rub at your clit. Your breathing became heavier and the moans that left your mouth had Bucky thrusting up to meet you. 

“Oh, God. Yes. Fuck.” Bucky groaned as you felt the tension snap, grinding down onto him as you came for the second time that night, body curling over him as your muscles clamped down on him. 

Once you stopped spasming around him, Bucky flipped you over so he was on top again. You wrapped around him, legs squeezing around his hips to pull him close and he started a fast pace. After having you squeezing around him, he was close but wanted you to join him for one more before he would let himself go. 

He buried his face in your neck, placing the occasional kiss while his eyes were squeezed shut, making sure he could hold on long enough. Your moaning got louder as his hips set a good pace. Your arms wrapped around his shoulders, pressing your forehead to him. 

“Oh, God. I’m close.” You whispered. 

“Come on, baby. Come for me.” Bucky coaxed, voice heavy with his impending orgasm that he was trying to hold off. 

He knew immediately once you tipped over the edge with the fluttering around his cock. His hips ground down and stuttered as he felt his coming right behind you, “Fuck, James.” You groaned in his ear, making him moan against your overheated skin at the way his name sounded coming from your lips. 

As you both struggled to catch your breath, you ran your hands up and down his back while he kept himself from putting all his weight on you. When he was able to breathe normally, he lifted his head from your shoulder and eyed you below him. 

You sent him a small smile, tired but happy. You squealed when he rolled you over again so he was on the bottom and you were resting on him, able to put all your weight down without bothering him and you realized he was still inside you, though neither of you minded the closeness of it.

You rested your head on his chest, sighing happily while he ran his fingers through your hair. 

“I love you.” He whispered, looking down to you. 

“I love you, too. So much.” You responded with a smile. 

“And you were worried about this, about not being able to take care of me. Pfft.” You teased him and he laughed, kissing your forehead. 

“I’m glad. Now I don’t have to feel bad about not letting you go.” He teased back. 

You both tensed when there was a knock on the door. You quickly looked to Bucky, eyebrows raised as if to ask if he knew what it was for. He shook his head, just as confused as you were. 

You reached to the floor and found Bucky’s t-shirt so you quickly pulled it on while you climbed from him, both of you wincing at the loss of contact. 

“Who is it?” Bucky called out while he pulled his pants on without bothering with his underwear. 

“Me.” It was Steve’s voice. Bucky looked back at you in question, wondering if he should open the door or not. You shrugged, wondering how he could avoid answering without making it seem more suspicious. 

Bucky went to the door and cracked it open, eyebrows raised in question. 

“Hey,” He called out louder, as if talking over Bucky’s shoulder, “Just thought I’d let you know that the little boy made it. He’s going to be fine.” 

Bucky laughed, the way Steve talked into his room like he wasn’t even there. 

“Thanks, Steve.” You said with a small laugh, both embarrassed but grateful that he was able to give you such good news, news that made your heart lighter than it already had been after spending time with Bucky. 

“Welcome.” Steve winked at Bucky, shaking his head in silent laughter as he took in his shirtless friend, putting the pieces together. 

“Punk.” Bucky retorted, trying not to laugh as he closed the door on Steve.


End file.
